In the last 2 years, I’ve had several ‘Dark Night of the Soul’ experiences that shook me to my bones.
BUT this isn’t a story of despair, it’s a story of hope…and how I came to truly love myself by awakening to my darkness … how I transmuted my soul’s pain and came into deep presence within myself … and how that extends out to humanity.
My recent Dark Night of the Soul experiences left me reveling in a newfound transformation that is perhaps more beautiful than anything I have ever experienced in my life, for it left me in a serene state of Divine Love, Awe, and Care for the human condition.
Have you ever found yourself in so much pain that you felt that there was no way out?
This is what I call “the crucible of consciousness”, and it’s excruciating.
If anybody told you that the process of enlightening is a gentle one, they lied to you.
It’s transformative, intensely painful, humbling, riveting, dismantling, a destruction of who you thought you were and all barriers that kept you from loving and being loved in the moment … the barriers that shielded you from God.
It leaves you in the silence, the still, silent sacred space of your soul, all-to-aware of your despair, and sometimes with no clear way out of the storm.
The Dark Night of the Soul is here to teach us, directly, within our own mortal form, to destroy our illusions and provoke us into a place of pure being within our heart in which we finally cherish life.
It demands of us that we let go until we trustfully surrender to the Divine and finally grant ourselves self-blessing and grace to be who we truly are, to flap our wings and fly.
It reveals to us in a way that can no longer be avoided (because you are consumed by the fire of your own awareness)
You see your dark side and you realize you are not as light as you thought you were.
You make contact with your regrets as though this will be your last day on Earth…and it sometimes really feels that way.
This challenges you to relinquish the densified accumulation of inverted consciousness in the body (i.e. conditioning, programming, indoctrination, fragmentation, and traumatization) that have overlaid your original innocence made you construct a falsified egoic reality that brought immense struggle and strife.
We come face to face with the relative spiritual reality our own mortality, and through the pain, we are left with no choice but to lean into the Great Mystery.
We detach from the notion of a separate suffering self and awaken to a unified abiding joy to reveals how delicately interwoven we are with all of creation.
We realize we are not isolated from the whole, we are integral to it.
Out of the discomfort, comes acceptance of our own individuated human condition, and out of that comes a miracle:
…From the depths of my soul pain and affliction, there I was, lying in bed in agony, sensations happening in my body that I had no intelligent explanation for.
Things were happening, but I was not in control.
That day I had had the realization that, just as my existence is evidence that I have a mother and father, my very Consciousness is proof that there is a Divine Mother and a Divine Father.
In the depths of my tribulation, I cried out to my Father. And in that cry, God never felt so real to me.
It became absolutely clear to me that God was/is/will forever be the only constant Reality in an ever-changing world.
I surrendered into that zero point and, with all my heart, asked Father to free me from this soul pain.
God provided, I detached from the false self who identified with the pain, and suddenly, the pain dropped away.
For the first time ever, I discovered that God is in my heart, with me always, and it was my own barrier that prevented me from standing in His Light.
I realized that I am not separate from the whole but intricately interwoven into the fabric of existence.
I mattered deeply, and at the same time I didn’t matter at all.
Because life goes on. Great Spirit continues to animate all life. Always.
I was blessed with the awareness of something greater, humbling, and everlasting, that I have decided to devote myself to for all eternity.
Through the crucible of the Dark Night of my Soul, I learned through my own experience:
𝘎𝘰𝘥 𝘪𝘴𝘯'𝘵 𝘢𝘯 𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘢…𝘞𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘢𝘳𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘰𝘶𝘭 𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘪𝘭𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘪𝘯 𝘪𝘵𝘴 𝘥𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘋𝘪𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘦 𝘗𝘦𝘳𝘧𝘦𝘤𝘵 𝘉𝘦𝘢𝘶𝘵𝘺, 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵'𝘴 𝘭𝘦𝘧𝘵 𝘪𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧, 𝘤𝘳𝘺𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘓𝘰𝘳𝘥. 𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵'𝘴 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘱𝘶𝘳𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘤𝘪𝘰𝘶𝘴𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘴, 𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘦 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘳𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘴 𝘪𝘵𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧, 𝘱𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘦 𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦𝘴 𝘪𝘵𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧, 𝘐𝘯𝘯𝘦𝘳 𝘋𝘪𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘦 𝘜𝘯𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘣𝘦𝘨𝘪𝘯𝘴, 𝘛𝘳𝘶𝘦 𝘚𝘦𝘭𝘧-𝘙𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘻𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘣𝘭𝘰𝘴𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘴, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘮𝘪𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘭𝘦𝘴 𝘮𝘢𝘺 𝘣𝘦 𝘮𝘢𝘥𝘦 𝘮𝘢𝘯𝘪𝘧𝘦𝘴𝘵.
… And in the end, all of the things that we do or chase are ultimately no replacement for the Divinely Wild heart within that longs to be unleashed.
The greatest yearning of the soul is for our primordial state of being ... to be called back into itself ... and to remain free for all eternity.
This is the unification of our consciousness in the only 'thing' which matters: our essential nature as Spirit, as part and parcel of Great Spirit itself.
In which the Divine Feminine and the Divine Masculine convene through our own living presence, soulfully relating from the sensual silence with conscious loving care for all creation—"Convivencialma con Cuidado Conci(l)enciamorosa por la Creación."
This is the Holy Grail of Consciousness and the proverbial Sacred Marriage within the holy vessel of the soul, where the individual meets the universal in a relational field of infinite potentials.
Love in the highest requires surrender, not simply sacrifice.
Love is a call and response chant that enters your heart the moment you are quietly rested in the sacred silence of your soul.
Love holds nothing in opposition, for it weaves everything into itself in a web of universal consciousness and infinite potential.
Only the one who can unify its consciousness in the still point of Love can fully cherish the Light of God.
If there is any desire behind love at all, it is a wholehearted willingness born of gentleness from the center of your being to devote to the tending of the soul.
It's about gracing the world, like a flower, with the greatest blessings you have to offer from your heart, from your root, and your deepest core–where all that dwells is Devotion to the Divine–and consecrating that blessing with innocent intent, pure presence, and conscious care.
If you are a lightworker, please realize that we all hold a book of embodied teachings for those in our close orbit.
Whether you personally identify with the archetype of the teacher or not is inconsequential.
The only thing that matters is that you honor the influence that you have on your surroundings and all of creation by radiating your Light.
#1 Your “teachings” are not only for others, they are also for you …
…to live and put into practice in your own life. Most of us are aware of the popular adage, “You are your own teacher”, but if this is really true, it means that you are also your own student. Which is to say that each of us must devote ourselves to being a lifelong learner if we wish to continue to be relevant and resonate with those we teach, lead, help, and love in a way that will reach into their heart and soul.
#2 You will be challenged throughout your life to journey into the dark caverns of your own consciousness to integrate your own teachings, and this will often not be comfortable nor convenient.
However, whether you can see the light of day yet or not, this will not only be critical for your own achievement, but more importantly for the mastery of the entire collective consciousness. Such periods will prove pivotal for helping you attune, align and adjust your consciousness as well as develop into your role as a guide for others. Take the time-outs you need to stay true to yourself. There’s nobility in consciously admitting and addressing the inherent suffering of your own soul dilemma and human condition.
#3 Consecrate these more challenging periods to the greater good and what you endure will be just a little easier to bear and navigate, at least for the time being.
In times of adversity, please know that even for an illumined sage or achieved master, the learning will never stop until you leave this plane of reality. Celebrate this. Even in times of darkness, your Spirit matters and you are still integral to uplifting planetary consciousness in your own small way right now. As a wise man once said, “we each teach others by our own behavior.” Don’t lose sight of the goal of your life. Amidst innumerable joys and sorrows, we are each blessed in our own unique way to be alive in the school of Mother Earth, where Spirit and Matter meet in the human heart. How else could you ever know the full spectrum of your Divine Human Nature without occasionally tasting the bittersweet nectar from the eternal fountain of life itself?
I am grateful for your life.
I thank you for being on this soul journey with me…
I love you, for being the miracle who YOU truly are.
InSpirit with Heart,
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Aaron Fried is a Holistic Spiritual Advisor, Integral Soul Guide & Shamanic Astrologer with 12 years of professional consulting experience. He mentors soulful seekers who are at the threshold of a powerful crossroads to transform existential confusion and suffering into a sacred relationship that's worth dying for and a spiritual calling that's truly worth living for .
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