Funny Old Age Quotes and quotes about turning old
A little gray hair is a small price to pay
for all this accumulated wisdom.
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Age before beauty.
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Age does not determine who’s right,
it only determines who’s left!
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Age is a matter of mind
and if you don’t mind
it don’t matter !!
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Age is a number, old is in your head.
Age is a number, and mine is unlisted.
Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
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Age is like fine wine….
it gets better with time !!
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Age isn’t important unless you’re cheese.
As you grow older, you stand for more and fall for less.
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At fifty a woman is
every young mans dream girl.
We don’t swell; we don’t tell; we are as grateful as hell.
Not quite over the hill yet.
Just got a darn good view of the valley below.
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At my age…
I’ve got achy, breaky everything !!
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At my age…
I’ve seen it all…I’ve heard it all…
I’ve done it all….
I just can’t remember it all…
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Beautiful young people are acts of nature,
but beautiful old people
are works of art.
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Better to have bad breath than no breath at all !!
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Birthday’s are good for you.
The more you have the longer you live.
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Born in the USA…..a long time ago !!
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By the time you reach middle age,
you’ve already met so many people
that every new acquaintance reminds
you of someone else.
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Classic, Genuine, Antique Person…
They just don’t make ’em like this anymore!!
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Count your life by smiles, not tears.
Count your age by friends, not years.
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Do not regret growing old….it is a privilege denied many…!
Don’t let an old person crawl into your body !
Enjoy getting older, the alternative is death ~!~
Ever stop to think…And forget to start again?
Few people know how to be old.
50 is the age of discovery….you discover you’re old!!!
50 – something…….and loving it!
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50 year old–one owner
Needs parts, make offer
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50 !!!!
That’s dead in dog years !!
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First, I was a good BOY,
Then, I became a nice KID,
I was then a great GUY,
Later, I grew up to be a fine MAN,
Now, I’m just an old FART !!
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Forty is the old age of youth;
Fifty is the youth of old age.
(Victor Hugo)
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Forty isn’t old…
IF you’re a tree !!
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Fifty is Nifty !!!
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Geezer……formerly known as “Stud Muffin”…
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Growing old is mandatory…
Growing up is optional !
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How am I feeling?
I’m still on the right side of the grass.
( this was sent in by a visitor to this site who heard
this from a 60+ year old friend who had been ill )
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I am not young enough to know everything !!!
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I am old enough to sleep by myself
and young enough not to want to have to.
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I have a photographic memory.
Unfortunately, it no longer offers
same day service.
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I just let my mind wander, and it didn’t come back.
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I look in the mirror and what do I see,
but little wrinkles creeping up on me!
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I’d rather be over the hill than under it.
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If life begins at 40….
What ended at 39 ???
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If you can afford to go First Class and don’t….
your heirs will !
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If you carry your childhood with you…
you’ll never become older.
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If you wait,
all that happens is that you get older!
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I’m entering the “metallic years”…
silver in my hair, gold in my teeth
and lead in my bottom !!
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I’m just a 16 year old girl,
locked in an old ladies body !
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I’m not 40….
I’m 18 with 22 years of experience !
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I’m not aging, I just need repotted.
I’m not aging….I’m marinating !!
I’m not as old as I used to be.
I’m not getting older, I’m getting bitter.
I’m not old….I’m a recycled teenager !!
I’m not old…I’ve just been young a very long time !!
I’m 39 1/2…(and that’s my final answer !)
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In order to be old and wise,
one must once be young and stupid.
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Inside every older person
is a young person
wondering what the hell happened !
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It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
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It used to be wine, women and song…
now it’s beer, the old lady and TV !!
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It was spring, But it was summer I wanted,
The warm days, And the great outdoors.
It was summer, But it was fall I wanted,
The colorful leaves, And the cool, dry air.
It was fall, But it was winter I wanted,
The beautiful snow, And the joy of the season.
It was winter, But it was spring I wanted,
The warmth, And the blossoming of nature.
I was a child, But it was adulthood I wanted,
The freedom, And the respect.
I was 20, But it was 30 I wanted,
To be mature, And sophisticated.
I was middle aged, But it was 20 I wanted,
The youth, And the free spirit.
I was retired, But it was middle age I wanted,
The presence of mind, Without limitations.
My life was over.
But I never got what I wanted.
(written by a 13 yr old boy named Josh Lehman)
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It’s better to wear out than to rust out!
It’s easier to get older than it is to get wiser…
~~~
It’s frustrating when you know all the answers,
but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
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I’ve got a good memory….but it’s short !!
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Middle age is when broadness of the mind
and narrowness of the waist change places.
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Middle age is when the kids leave one by one…
only to return…two by two!!
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Middle age is when you choose your cereal
for the fiber…..not the toy !!!
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Middle age is when your narrow waist
and broad mind begin changing places.
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My body has reached the age
where it either hangs out, falls out
or darn well wears out.
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My mind wanders a lot but fortunately it’s too weak to go very far.
Never Be The First To Get Old!!!!!
Of all the things I’ve lost…I miss my mind the most !
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Old Age and Treachery
Beat Youth and Vigor.
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Old age comes at a bad time.
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Old age is NOT for sissy’s !!
(Art Linkletter)
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Once you’re over the hill….you pick up speed !
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Over 40 and still cookin’…!!
Over the Hill…pickin’ up up speed !!
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Please understand that no matter how old I get…
I will always be a kid at heart…
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Seen it all, done it all, can’t remember most of it !!
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Serenity Prayer
God grant me the serenity to
forget the people I never liked anyway…
the good fortune to run into the ones that I do…
and the eyesight to tell the difference.
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Sex after 60
is like shooting pool with a rope.
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Some people, not matter how old they get,
never lose their beauty…
they merely move it from their faces
to their hearts.
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The best part about waking up
is finding your teeth
are still in the cup!
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The hardest part of growing older
is remembering when you were young.
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The heart is the real fountain of youth.
The heart that gives love….is always young !!
The older I get, the better I used to be.
The older I get, the better I was.
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The surprising thing about young fools
is how many survive to become old fools !
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There’s no fool like an old fool !
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To be 70 years young is sometimes for more
cheerful and hopeful than to be forty years old.
(Oliver Wendell Holmes)
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We are always the same age inside.
(Gertrude Stein)
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We do not stop laughing because we grow old;
we grow old because we stop laughing.
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We do not stop playing because we grow old.
We grow old because we stop playing.
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We don’t have crow’s feet….
We have laugh lines !!
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We turn not older with years,
but newer every day.
(Emily Dickinson)
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We’re all getting older at the same rate of speed.
We just got started at different times.
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Welcome
Friends Anytime…
Relatives…By Appointment
(Sent in by visitor to site…she saw this on the door of a retirement home)
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When did my wild oats….turn into shredded wheat??
When you stop to think, don’t stay parked !!
Why should I grow up??….this is more fun !!
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Wrinkled was not one of the things
I wanted to be
when I grew up !!
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Wrinkles are antique smiles…!
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You can only be young once
but you can be immature forever !!
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You know you are getting old when
everything hurts and what doesn’t hurt
doesn’t work…!
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You know you are getting old when…
“Happy Hour” turns out to be a nap !!
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You know you’re getting old when it takes you all night,
to do what you used to do all night !!
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You know you’re getting old
when you sink your teeth into an apple
and they stay there..!!
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You know you’re getting old….
when your back goes out more often than you do !!!
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You know you’re old when you can’t get your rocking chair started..!
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You know you are getting old
when it feels like the morning after
and you haven’t been anywhere.
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You know you are getting old
when you look forward to a DULL evening.
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You know you are getting old
when the best part of the day
is over when the alarm goes off.
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You know you are getting old
when the little old gray-haired lady you
helped across the street is your wife.
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You know you are getting old
when you get winded playing chess.
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You know you are getting old
when you go into the next room
to get something, and
can’t remember what you came for.
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You know you are getting old
when you have too much room in the house
and not enough in the medicine cabinet.
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You know you are getting old
when you know all the right answers but
no one asks the right questions.
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You know you are getting old when you
look into the mirror and are shocked to
see that “old person”
looking back at you.
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You know you are getting old
when the gleam in your eyes is from the
sun hitting your bifocals.
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You know you are getting old
when you move your bed closer to the bathroom
because you spend half your night there anyway.
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You know you are getting old
when you relate to everything on this page.
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You know you are getting old
when you remember when
Queen Elizabeth was a Princess.
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You know you are getting old
when you tend to repeat yourself…
tend to repeat yourself.
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You know you are getting old
when your children begin to look middle-aged.
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You know you are getting old
when your friends don’t ask how you fell
but where you hurt.
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You know you are getting old
when your pacemaker opens the garage door
when you see a pretty girl.
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You know you are getting old
when your knees buckle and your belt won’t.
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You know you are getting old
when your little black book contains
only names ending in M.D.
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You know you are old when your
doctor is the same age as your grandson.
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You know you are getting old when your doctor
is the same age as your cookie sheets!
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You know your old when your
youngest starts collecting Social Security !!
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You know you’re gettin’ old when
you’re not as good as you once was but….
your as good once…as you once was.
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You know you are growing old
when you find yourself
laughing at this list !!
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You know you are old when
your doctor look like
Doogie Howser.
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You may not be able to turn back the clock,
but you can wind it up again !
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Young at heart,
slightly older in other places !!
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You’re getting old when you get the same sensation
from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
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You’re never too old to enjoy your childhood.
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You’re not old…you’re chronologically gifted…!!
You’re only young once but you can be immature forever !!
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Youth is a gift of nature.
Middle Age is a work of art !!
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Youth is wasted on the YOUNG !!
